Smells

Alcohol perfume, dried sweat and baby shit. I love this train.

Can't type more.

Four

Fourth day of the new schedule and fourth different train time. This one not as busy. I think this one will get me downtown around 6:58. Cuts it a little close. May have to rely on the 6:12 for a more relaxed commute.

The woman next to me is quite big. She gets a seat and a half to my little half-seat. Sitting on the edge is kinda hurting my butt, though it isn't all bad. I'll get over it.

Blueteeth

Long hair + Bluetooth = you look crazy. And your conversation isn't even interesting.

Oh and when it's packed. You, mr bicycle guy get to wait. We are humping in here. No room for your vehicle.

Students

Hey younglings going to fill your noggins with stuff, I have a free lesson for you.

Your backpack is huge and you have no nerve endings in it so you cannot feel it thwapping your fellow passengers. Be aware of it. It is huge, heavy and sharp in places.

And don't get all mad when I shove away the point of your Anatomy book into my Trapezius muscle. Apologize to me with a smile and hold your bag in front of you.

Busy lots.

So yeah I can tell its going to be much busier train wise. If I can do the sunset thing though, perhaps it will take less time.

It smells very bad on board right now.

Early

Tried a commute method and it intends to dump me off way early at work. Oh well.

Will try something different tomorrow.

Shampoo

Someone on this train has a shampoo that is magical. Can't stop breathing deeply. Not sure if its male or female, but the scent sure is nice. Thanks, person-of-unknown-hygiene.

Earlier trains are just as packed as the morning one. A little ickier but it will be so much nicer to be home sooner.

Wow

So I slept through 3 alarms, but caught the 6:23 train. It was packed when it got to My stop. I've never seen that unless a trains been backed up.

Amazing.

I did get a seat, but its next to some rude bald asshat who keeps passive-aggressively elbowing me. I just landed one of my own and smiled at him.

This new schedule may prove interesting.

Courtesy

I can't emphasize this enough: if you are sick, stay home. Do not take public transportation and sit there wheezing, coughing and sneezing.

It's beyond contemptible. You have a few hundred people in an enclosed space breathing your germs into our bodies outside of our control. You are rude, inconsiderate and, above all, inhumane.

Oh and.. Lady behind me? You are in your late 40s with grey hair. Pulling the "Senior Citizen" card to get a seat on a packed train is pathetic. That guy should have carded you.

Guess what? Tomorrow is Friday! Yaaaay!

Mop

Without their belt of gun, taser, cuffs, pepper spray, zip ties, and flashlight the police officer looks exactly like a manual worker. Blue shirt and matching pants.

From behind without seeing a badge and curled-cord radio on their breast, they could be on their way to clean an office building, work on a car motor, or plumb some pipe.

Lesson here is I guess is: always wear a belt if you have a career.

The guy sitting behind me smells like a sack of stale potato chips...my nose is curling around it.

Return of the Toe

Yikes!!!

This blog post left intentionally blank. I have nothing more (appropriate or otherwise) to say about her matter.

*fistbump*

Chill

This morning was worthy of a mug of cocoa and some oatmeal. I briefly considered a jacket, then remembered it is supposed to be nearly 90 today, so I just was cool on the way to the train. No biggie.

I missed my usual 7:12 train Maybe it was late, too, because one pulled up at 7:14 as I got there. Pretty open seating, too, as I got my favorite seat.

Can it be Friday? Please?

Non-sport

Walking is locomotion, not a sport. If you do not suffer from a neurological or any other disorder, it shouldn't be that difficult. Apparently when you are texting on a phone this ability takes mad skill. A "woo girl" walking down the street who was texting and tripped on her own shadow was funny.

More funny was her barely noticing: no embarrassment, looking to see what she tripped on, or any other acknowledgment that she almost biffed hard on the sidewalk.

The voice of the girl next to me would be grounds for divorce. She has a huge rock on her finger so somebody married her. Most likely deaf. She is like a caricature of herself.

Also, major kudos to the train driver for buying a Street Roots magazine out of his window.

I crave sushi. Dinner!

Hangover

I don't mean hangover from alcohol, but from relaxing. Scientists determined that it takes, on average, 2.6 days to return to a state of relaxation after you have been stressed.

It is not surprising that everyone stays wound up a bit too tightly. It would be like sleeping four hours a night and claim to be awake. After a few days or weeks you would be a zombie and useless. Same goes for the five day work week.

And based on the train, the zombies here want brains primarily because all of ours have atrophied under the weight of our own content obeisance.

Food

Look. We all eat. I know we get hungry. But when you are on a train with many people, it's your responsibility to have food that doesn't permeate every cubic foot of air in a 70 foot-long conveyance. You, you stupid girl, and your garlicky yakisoba noodles are pungently sweet. They smell tragic to me and the rest of the people riding with you. I can smell it at at other end of the fucking train. You are rude in ways that are defined by Merriam-Webster.

Also, guy on the cell phone who just discovered the technology: No one wants to hear your conversation. Hang up. The tunnel is coming thankfully. Dick. Your, "sweetie," can wait until you are off the train. Stop.

Strange

It feels so bizarre riding the train. I've said it before, but I ride every day at the same time in both directions. Of the 200 people on the train I probably recognize two people that ride when I do. Otherwise it is a daily changing of characters.

And not just a little, but by a lot. The number fluctuates from a few people, to some standing, to sardine city.

Today is jammed. Jammed with faces I have never seen before.

There is a disease called prosopagnosia in which the suffer cannot discern faces. There was a dumb thriller movie about it years ago I think with Jennifer Lopez that dealt with it.

Anyways, it would be neater if there were a bunch of people who rode together. Start and end days with conversation with people you see literally 10 hours a week. I don't see my real best friends that much.

Perhaps I should figure out a way to organize a ride buddy program.

Stunted

Odd seeing who is a kid probably 17-19 years old with a huge 24 ounce mocha. Makes me wonder what all that caffeine is doing to his widdle heart.

He is so small, the cup dominates both of his hands like a three year old walking around with a 2-liter bottle.

Sitting pigeon-toed by himself, chest caved in and looking back at me through half-closed eyelids, I wonder about his future.

Baggage

Large bags, purses, bookbags, and the like should be banned on trains not going to the airport.

Jesus. If it sticks out that much, why do you carry it? And too bad if it's heavy and needs its own seat. Put it on your lap you plebe.

And somehow there is a baby crying so loudly on this train that it is overpowering the audio of Agalloch's, "Into the painted grey," turned all the way up in my headphones.

New

Tomorrow will be interesting. Should dress nicer, but don't want to.

Train is lame. Dumb guy with his bag on his seat. His claim is that his leg is hurt so he needs to sit diagonally.

I feel squishy.

Standards

I need a new rule book. I don't know what is what any more. Chivalry and equal rights seem at a loggerhead.

No idea. I just need off this train. People are in bad moods today.

Packed

So I walk a few extra blocks from work to catch the train before it hits downtown stops where literally hundreds get on. Typically I get a seat, but this time it was already packed by my platform.

Thankfully a stop later, a lady sitting next to where I was standing got off. So I sat down.

There is a twentynothing girl giving me the stink-eye for not offering it to her, but ya know: respect your elders.

Now to contemplate dinner.

Sprint

Mondays are trying enough without the full run from car to train. Geez. Not many on this train at all; only half as many as usual.

And everyone is boring. Bah.

O Friday

Only a four day week but it felt like six. I am glad for my train ride home sometimes. It is thirty-seven minutes of my day dripping off me onto the window, the seat, and the floor.

Which is okay, because it can mix with the Mt Dew bottle, the Willamette Week, and the other random trash here and there.

It's a busy train, but that is expected for this day & time. Nobody too interesting around me, although there is a strong garlic smell. Very.

This weekend I sense fun.

Ruuuuun!

Train pulls up as I am parking my car and I have two options: wait 9 minutes or sprint my ass off.

Hey! It's Friday and Payday. Good day for a run. I made it just barely.

In other news, I need new shoes. These have lost their support.

Warm

Autumn is my favorite season. It has so many good memories, holidays, smells, and flavors. It's the time of good food and family, as well as football and basketball. All good times for certain.

I must however weep the demise of the miniskirt. It's mid 80s so these lovely ladies are kind enough to bare their legs.

For instance, three pencil skirts in front of me. My gratitude to the sun of summer for making this happen. The red male blood in my veins thanks you.

#pig

Lap dance

Very nice lady standing next to me on the train. She is well dressed, professional, reading her kindle, and has a large butt.

I only mention this because for the entire trip down here, it has been resting on my shoulder, and she seems unaware of its actions. Now, I don't begrudge her. It's a packed train and we are all a but sardined this morning, but up until a few moments ago it did render me unable to type on my phone.

I am freed up now but almost to my stop.

Late

Well, got out of work two hours late and now am on a train not even going all the way home. I will have to switch trains halfway there. Won't get home until after 8. Yay for that.

Oh, and this train smells like a hippie's herb shop exploded. Like a poorly made pasta salad. My nose hates me.

That being said, I am in a relatively good mood. I am craving a cupcake and a star trek movie. Probably red velvet and Undiscovered Country respectively.

Wee life!

Judge

Two skater kids standing there, listening to punk and laughing at stuff notice a woman reading a kindle, occasionally looking up and signing in ASL to her companion. The two kids stare long and hard at her, and one of them waves at her to get her attention.

Now, pause this scene. I expect something along the lines of... ridicule or disrespect. You know.

I couldn't have been more wrong. To my surprise, young tattooed and pierced skater punk begins signing to her.

She smiles and signed back. This went back and forth a few times before she said, "thank you," in sign and he nodded.

Turning to his friend he said, "oh she was just curious about what the announcement was about because she could barely hear it."

His friend asked how he knew ASL, and the best sentence I've heard all week was uttered.

"Duh, dude, my mom is fucking deaf, remember?"

I sit here speechless, in any language.

Syncopation

Of the eleven people at the back of this train, all of them, a cool 100%, are on their cell phones. All of us have our heads leaning forward at about 45 degrees reading our screens, exacerbating the yet-to-be-named disease causing trauma to the neck and shoulder muscles.

Someday, when this generation is old and our backs shrivel under spinal compression, osteoporosis, and the weight of our experience, we will resemble the gentle curved slope of a bold comma.

What I wonder though is what is everyone doing on their phones. I am going to say everyone is blogging about all the silly people on their phones.

I only say this because the guy across from me looked up from his phone and gave me the same smug look I was feeling a moment ago.