This is my last post for a few days. I am taking a few days off work.
Today is a great sunny start to that time off. I intend to relax, reflect, and recreate. It feels early to be taking a vacation, but since I haven't had a proper one in almost a decade, it's bound to feel weird regardless.
It's only week three and I think my body is getting used to super early mornings. Still, waking up at 5:59 a minute before the alarm makes me feel like I robbed myself of precious rest.
Okay, this just in...if you ride a bike, you are last priority on a crowded morning train. Seriously. Don't push your way onto the train.. you have transportation. We don't have to smoosh ourselves against a window so your overpriced piece of shit boutique bike can fit in the aisle.
And your hat is dorky looking.
What ultimately are we as humans attracted to? The more I think about it, the less clear it is. I break it down to two major factors: equivalent wisdom and preferred being.
In short: we are fundamentally attracted to people from whom we can learn, and those who put us in a state of mind where we are the best version of ourselves when they are around.
This has little to do with appearance. That is young, fleeting lust. Attraction is a selfish act that is catch-22.
You love because you must. It's not like you have a choice in the matter.
The guy with the 711 coffee next to me hasn't taken a sip since he has been on the train. I don't blame him as the smell coming from the cup isnt coffee you would want.
It smells like hot mold.
But the longer he sits there the more I wonder if he is going to drink it. The anticipation is killing me wondering what his facial expression would be. He cradles the cup like anyone does, but there are no lip prints on the lid.
He looks tired, even. Drink it! Oh it is just too much. Perhaps he is a connoisseur and knows the secret temperature where it becomes perfect. His eagerness to drink it is tempered by his patience and knowledge.
"Soon," he thinks.
The last couple fare inspections on the train have been very odd. At the last stop in Fareless Square, the 4 officers get on in a not-very-sneaky way.
Plenty of time for any nonpaying freeloaders to deboard with no penalty. However both times there have been people who see them (make eye contact), yet stay on only to get fined. I just want to say to them... Duh! You had an out!
Okay enough of that, going to close my eyes and listen to this woman speak Russian to her friend behind me. Ahhhhh. Such a beautiful language.
Large mouths and travel cups of coffee dot the landscape of... oh hell.. mornings on the train remind me of a really boring zombie movie. Everyone is slouched against the window, listening to their ipods, or reading books.
Speaking of books, it seems everyone is reading the Game of Thrones (two near me now). Reminds me of when Eric recommended to me years ago. He should write book reviews because all of his recommendations have been great. You add some Sean Bean and suddenly everyone is buying hardback books again. Could it be becoming adult Harry Potter craze? Will people be dressing as Bran for Halloween?
Not sure if it will last, but my work days fly by pretty fast right now. Didn't realize it was time to go home.
It seems a bright aire on the train. Everyone is smiling, lots of conversations around, and it fairly creepy! But thats okay.
In the grand scheme of things I guess I'm not doing all that bad. I bitch a lot, but really don't ultimately have much justification. I could live in Darfur, Libya or any number of place that are currently in a state of fear, panic, or social unrest.
Instead I sit on a train, reading Aphra Behn, wondering why its so necessary for this person to have their ipod turned up so loudly.
I should just scream into a pillow instead at random if I feel a need to bitch.
Funny how much difference an hour or two makes. Catch a beer with Eric downtown after work, then hit the train and amazingly enough: seating!
Now only one seat was available, bit its sitting next to a rather attractive girl who smells like lavender. I sure hope she isn't reading this...
Nope she is on her Facebook not paying attention. I need to address my attention deficit. Delved into that a bit at the bar... time to figure out how to focus. We shall see.
People take the same commute daily generally speaking. You might think they would know what to expect on a daily basis: overcrowding, weird smells, strange stares from amateur bloggers. Not the case.
Eye rolls, heavy sighs, tsks, and disgruntled expressions all over the place. Sure its Monday and they are going to a job they all hate so much, but what a way to spend a seventh of their lives.
That aside, the woman next to me (aside from smooshing me into the window), is reading a book on her Kindle about vampires. It's in large type, so I can read it. It's not a book with vampires, but a book explaining them and why they are so popular in our culture. Why do you need an entire book when three things explain them: sex, power over people, and immortality.
So Friday at five in the afternoon there should be a huge rush hour right? Nope.
Handful of people including two crusty old guys trying to out-grumpy each other and sitting right in front of me: my manager.
Great! And she gets off at my stop. Great! And she lives a half dozen blocks from me. Great!
Looks like last night of flicks on the bricks downtown. Stand By Me on a huge inflated screen. Maybe I should have stayed and watched it. Oy.
I know I said this would solely be for my commute, but I have to mention the West Memphis 3. I learned this morning that they could go free today (with provisions).
These three guys are my age, but instead of spending the last 18 years as I have done learning, loving, and experiencing, they have been in prison for a crime they didn't commit due to Satanic Panic and the overzealous folks in Arkansas..
I was first introduced to them in 2004 by an instructor at PCC named Christopher Brown. He was my WR121 teacher. He showed us the documentaries of Paradise Lost: The Child Killings of Robin Hood Hills. Since then I have followed the case at www.WM3.org as they filed appeal after appeal.
If they do indeed go free today, you too will become familiar with their story. I hope the judge gives good news today.
You know you are on public transit when you shove your nose into your own armpit to find freshness.
In my defense, I smell fairly good today.
There is Axe body spray, perfumes, sweat, grease, bad breath, ranch dressing, smoke and I'm pretty certain someone shit their pants.
Trains have all the comfort of a lipstick tube of an airplane, only it affords you the additional luxury of all public being able to ride for no charge.
I remember the last week of high school back in 1993 there would be a day where all seniors would take a day off. It was called senior skip day and the administration hated it. We didn't tell them which day it might be, so it was a total surprise.
Today felt like a normal morning until I reached the train, which had arrived before I got out of my car.
Anyone who rides the train knows it swoops in like a pelican, scoops up the fish-passengers, and flies off quickly. This time it sat there as I walked towards it with its doors open waiting. Once on I was greeted with a rather non-rush-hour crowd of two people.
Where is everybody? It's Thursday. Did is miss the memo about a skip day?
Maybe its all the indoctrination in school where teachers pounded obedience into the soft spot in my head, but I find it interesting that a hundred and fifty or so adults sit quietly on this train in a studyhall-like atmosphere.
People glance annoyed at people who strike up conversations as though they will get us all detention.
That is, of course, until that one person sits next to you. Then you appreciate the shared silence.
At the first stop out of Fareless Square Tri-Met decides to have a half dozen fare inspectors get on board and announce a check.
Only right then, a dozen people got up and launched off the train like an inadvertant flash mob with the inspectors in pursuit.
They never did check my fare.
People don't always stare at someone with a disability out of rudeness or pity. Sometimes the adaptations are pretty interesting.
This guy here has impaired vision, and lying in front of him is a very watchful German Shepherd, and on his lap one of those rubber nub laptops that look like a typewriter.
He is engrossed in whatever he is reading, and I'm jealous.
Crowded on the way to work, but found a seat next to this guy probably 18 or 19. He sat there very thugged out in baggy pants, flannel, gold chains, gold tooth, smelling like so much cologne.
He was also talking very loudly on the phone next to me.
"Yeah, I heardja. I'll be derr. Don't be all like dat."
He went off or some time on the person on the other end of the call. When he was done, he pulled his iPhone from his head, and I glanced over only to see the screen:
A picture of a sweet lady, and in white letters at the top of the screen, "Mommy."
