Sweat

Nice shirt, nice slacks, nice shoes, nicely coifed hair... You smell like a four-day-old armpit.

Before you climb into your monkey suit, hose off first. It's not that difficult.

I see you are new to the insurance industry. Look buddy, you're going to be spending quality time in close proximity to your clients, you're going to need to smell the part. You seem really nice but I want to hip check you into a kiddie pool filled with Febreeze right now.

Need

I need. I just do. I need interaction with friends, chats with parents, and hugs from my significant other. These things are like air, food and shelter. 

They all occupy the bottom row of Maslow's pyramid. Without these connections, I shrivel up on the inside. I am no good alone.

Unless I am on a train with a lot of rude, sniveling knuckle-draggers who wear too much perfume, don't cover their coughs, and lack any manners. In that case, just leave me alone.

My cat is more couth and he pukes on my carpet and doesn't pay rent.

Old

With people living longer, it makes me wonder if we are getting age heavy as a culture. It's like we are all more focused on healthy, longevity, bonds, retirement accounts, investments, vitamins, and such. There isn't much focus on the present.

With people living until 90, there is as much life between retirement and then, as there is from 40 until retirement. Pretty insane. As we all forget to bother living our lives because we are all terrified about not living forever. 

Tattoo

There is an older lady, maybe early 50s across from me dressed in a nice pink shirt and white pants. She is also wearing nice jewelry, and looks fairly professional. What stands out the most about her, however, is her Gun'n'Roses, "Livin' on a Prayer," tattoo on her right forearm.  Just stands as proof that tattoos, as with real estate is all about location, location, location.

There is a guy in yoga pants. He looks really comfortable and confident in them. They don't translate too well for my tastes, but he is in good enough shape that I'm certain he is someone's cup of tea.

The sun is out, and I feel like playing in it. 

Reek

Patchouli person is somewhere on this train. It is like a Whodunnit mystery, only instead of who committed a murder, it's who the hell dipped themselves in this dense acrid oil. I'm so tempted to just stand up and make a speech. 

Mondays are bad.

Mornings at 6am suck.

Combine the two, and you have "bad suck" or "suck bad."

I am remarkably awake today. Somehow alarm went off at 5:15 and I didn't hit snooze. Weird! Thankfully, too. Last few days I've not been able to wake before 630.

Two

Two interesting items of note here are going to be the two guy with portable CD players who just became instant friends, and the older lady whose 22 year old daughter is trying to convince her to go to a pole dancing exercise class. 

Need coffee. Brain feels like tapioca right now.

Phones

Everyone pull out your technology! I would say 80% of people on this train have a phone or Tablet out right now and is either web browsing, reading or furiously texting. Limited eye contact or awareness of surroundings. I bet I could be dressed up in a big furry raccoon costume and nobody would even notice.

It's a bizarre sort if disconnection with the world around me. 

The only other person looking around is a young punk girl wth bright red hair and a knit cap with a patch on the front that says, "Ain't No Wifey."

Don't have the heart to tell her about double negatives...

Mix

Today's smell would be the sharp flower smell of the detergent aisle at the grocery store coupled with a thick, sour one of room-temperature milk. 

They are wafting back and forth and the vacillation makes them both fresh and new every few moments. Not quite like being in a hot garbage truck, but close.

Two people near me are reading the same book: one on kindle, one an actual paperback. I wonder who will finish first and/or retain the information better. I don't know which book, I just overheard the fact before I stuffed my remembered-headphones in my ears. Yay!

There is an older Indian lady staring me down from the other end of the train. Wonder what her problem is. I should ask her, but I have a new rule: no talking to strangers before breakfast.

Punk

Young 20-nothing douchecanoe next to me talking on his phone playing deaf as an aged Navy veteran gets on with a walker. I say, "Hey why not get up?"

Ignored.

I nudge him, "Offer him your seat."

Ignored.

I yell loudly in his ear, " Get! Up!"

Oh! Now suddenly Captain Awareness is so chivalrous! What a tool. 

Sound

It looks like I need to add my headphones to my "Leave the house," pat down song.  Now I have to listen to the morning group of old ladies coo and tremble at the baby in the stroller two feet from me. 

A repeated search of pockets tell me that I have no recourse to people talking so much so early in the morning. Endless streams of meaningless topics flying about loudly. I heard the mom criticizing her sister for being a helicopter mom. Other people chitter all around me.

Flip phones. Diversify.  Permanent tooth. Dating. Rain. Ballerina. Eggs. 

Overload...

Friday

Trimet employee with a big bag of chocolate yelling, "happy Friday!" while giving out chocolate.  Quite amusing. 

Busy train. Hard to type. 

See you Monday!!!

Estrogen

This train has probably 80/20 women. This is interesting and makes me wonder why. So many scenarios to make ridership so unbalanced. 

Men like to drive more?

Husband took the car?

Women smarter and more logical?

Let's go with that last one there. 

Smoosh

So while this morning was bereft of riders, this afternoon is the opposite with more people leaving the city than went into it. It's microcosmic urban fleeing!

Eep! And stuff.. And junk...

Odd juxtaposition: very old lady texting on a large phone (Galaxy S4?) and a young kid next to her reading a book of sorts. Fairly amusing. 

And why the hell not! Come on kids, bring analog entertainment back. All this wireless shit is killing us!

Thin

I thought I had missed my train. Once I got to the platform, there wasn't the usual 15-20 people waiting. Instead it was just me and one other person. But it still showed up as expected, and getting on, it is also fairly sparse on the train itself.

Strange.

I toyed with the idea of taking a mental health day myself, but decided my mental health is fine and I should probably just go to work today.

Leer

Some guys cologne on this train is giving me an asthematic reaction. Every time the doors open at a stop I lean out and gasp. Jesus. Feels like I am drowning. 

There is this cute girl on the train. I would say 5'1", possibly of Greek descent. Big full jet-black hair, smooth olive skin. She is a tiny little thing. She is in a Best Buy shirt and khaki pants. 

As with most women, if you think they are attractive, you glance and look away. It's polite. There is this old guy who has been staring so hard at her that I am surprised she hasn't burst into flames.

She had to get up and move down the train in my direction, him staring the whole way, to get away from him.

I'm staring at him. He doesn't blink. Creeper!!! He only looked away when she sat down out of sight. Ugh. Even I need a shower.