Grease

The guy behind me is probably a cook. By the smell of it a Mexican restaurant. He reeks very badly. The think, sweet smell of grease could be cut like a stick of very dirty butter.

It's pretty overwhelming. Been on the train a while and I am not used to it.

Churchfinder

A couple, ignorantly in love, are sitting here reading a book filled with churches. Like apartment finder magazine.

I wonder if it's geographical, separated by sect, or maybe in ranking order of how much damnation you will experience if you should divorce.

You know, like a sliding hell scale. Flip to pg.209 if true love. If she is just hot and dumb, perhaps something in the pg.12 area.

Host

Half dozen Japanese kids here smashed in with me on the train. One opened a folio that said, "interviewing your host family."

I remember fondly the time my family hosted a girl from Japan in the early 90s. It was an amazing and interesting experience. I recommend it to anyone who loves learning about other cultures.

Phallus

Wow, taking an early train today. The people on the 630 train are unmitigated dicks. Attitudes and rudeness in spades.

Glad I normally do not work this early. Scowls, elbows, and glaring scoffs decorate this train like a cranky, diced onion on a metal hot dog. My guess is they either are collectively very unhappy, or it's, "emulate NYC day."

Today going to attempt to relax and just take it slow. Many of my clients are in the gulf region, so they are dealing with a hurricane. I hope it's nothing like Katrina for them.

Afoot.

I know it is rude to stare. I get this. And I very much appreciate someone taking care of themselves. I must say, however, choosing to stay in your skin-tight work out pants and stand at the front of the train facing everyone is making it difficult to stay the gentleman. Why?

Oh my god your cameltoe is gigantic. It like two lipstick tubes shoved down your pants. Like an evil face trying to push through a wall of latex in a horror film. You could hold a pencil and sign something. It deserves a celebratory fist-bump.

Not sure if it is intentional or not, but I encourage a mirror check. Gah! I keep looking up as if your crotch has become a commuter muse.

I am sorry for staring. Thank you.

Metül

Yeah.. Guy next to me listening to his iPod loudly of some metal song. I can barely hear it but it's about 240bpm.

My irritation gave way when I realized I had my own music with which I can drown him out.

There is a street girl sitting across from me that smells like eau de 30-days-unbathed. Too bad the train doesn't have a "downwind."

Giggle!

Oh for the love of whatever deity you fear shut up, stupid girls behind me.

I mean, running all over the train is annoying but understandable if you are a toddler, but when you are 14 you need to shut the hell up.

Working late makes me grumpy.

Better

Had some great dreams last night. Think it purged some weirdness. Feeling quite better today. Caught a near empty train and got a good seat.

Just as I say that a woman gets on. Her shirt has leopard print, she has a kindle, and she smells like someone shot her with a fire hose filled with perfume.

And not good perfume, but that burning kind that smells like an industrial bathroom cleaner. Ow my nose.

Phase

Today was really weird. Most things didn't seem real. People. Work. Friends. Nothing.

I felt as though I was pulled into a really strange television show of my life where everything was haphazardly directed and poorly written.

I think when I get home I may go straight to bed.

Even the train feels like a toy.

Why not

Some days #trimet nails it. They have lots of train which are on time. They even have good drivers who don't herk and jerk the throttle which tosses all of us riders around like a large human stirfry.

Today is one of those days. It's not often, but mad credit for when they pull it off. I get reminded why driving my own car is second fiddle.

I crave a huge bowl of Cheerios.

One

Rush hour. Busy. #trimet decides to send a one-car train. I can barely type this I am so smooshed.

If this train were a music venue, we would get in trouble with the fire marshall.

Maybe a good trampling would make them wise up to having sufficient cars for rider volume.

Luckily for them, it is against my morals to incite such a thing.

Back

Vacation was short and hot, but I had some good times.
Now I am on a busier than usual train on my way in. The 703 train never showed because #trimet is not too reliable. Now we have double the riders.
Yay Mondays!

Fixed costs

Answer me this: if you are homeless, how can you afford to smoke when cigarettes are $5 a pack?

Anyways. Gorgeous day out. Friday. Payday. First night of vacation. How can I not be in a good mood?

Bounce

Drunk guy comes into the bar all belligerent. He is 86'd and sits outside while the bartender calls a cab.

Well he decides to go for a walk, falls down, bounces his head off the sidewalk and knocks himself out.

Now 911 is called instead of Radio Cab.
When I walked away he was fighting the paramedics that he wouldn't go to the hospital for lack of insurance.

Fun.

Weather

I think you can more accurately predict weather than the train usage patterns.

Some days it's light and airy. Everyone has a seat and life is grand.

Some days it's like today: standing room only well before it hits downtown therefore it gets crammed and you have angry mobs shoving and angrily pushing.

I got a seat because I used strategy and cunning.

Also: there is a young man of 24 or so reading, "Henry Kissinger On China." Very strange.

Wine

Woman next to me, possibly 40s maybe early 50s. She really takes care of herself. You can tell she eats well and doesn't smoke. Her skin is amazing, her smile is bright and has a pretty nice set of gams.

Only giveaway are her hands and laugh lines. She is, dare I say, hot?

Breathe

From the time I got onto the train and ongoing, these two girls have been talking.

Not just a conversation but one of them has a loud, resonant voice and hasn't taken a breath in about 30 minutes.

She is defying the laws of physics.

And she is younger, so her words are 97% meaningless because she uses the word,"Like," every other word.

And the phrase, "just kidding," replaces a period for her at the end of a sentence.